Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Mommy Power

“Here are those bags, Mommy.” Cami leans into my office sideways.

“Thank you, Love. You can just lay them right there.” I point her to the piano bench. Her body language is wonky. Something’s up.

“Cami, are you okay?”

She shrugs off the question. “Sure. I’m fine.” Yet she still hasn’t looked directly at me. Clue #1.

As she heads into her room, shielding one side of her body from me (Clue #2), I put down my pile of papers to be sorted and I go after it. You know–the “it”–the whatever-is-going-on-with-my-daughter issue. It takes me a few minutes because I have a huge stack of papers in my hand. We’re moving this week (a wonderful God-story that I’ll revisit in another post), and we are all feeling the anticipation and excitement.

As I put down the last stack of papers, Cami says from the next room, “Mom, isn’t it time to say prayers?” Clue #3. She usually tries to delay bedtime.

When I step into her room, “I’m here,” I say as I approach the bed. Cami is already up in her loft bed, looking at me. I’m not quite sure how to describe her facial expression, but it ratchets up my sense of alarm. She’s got a little smile on her mouth, but it’s not a happy smile. So here I go, into the mess, having no idea what mess I’m getting into.

“Cami, are you sure everything’s okay?” She nods her head. “What did you bring upstairs just now?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Nothing.” That’s twice now. Cami is not usually the shrugging kind. Nor is she surly.

“I asked you what you brought upstairs just now. Let me see, please.”

“What?” she innocently asks. “It’s just a blanket. Why do you want to see it?” Now the alarm in my head is sounding at full wail.

“Cami, hand me the blanket.” As she picks it up, something falls out of it.

“Hmmm…I wonder how that got there,” Cami says as she hands me a pink fleecey blanket.

“Give me the rest, Cami.” (Be firm, Mommy Cassandra, and remember grace.)

I am stunned at the Big Reveal. My daughter hands me a granola bar. Really? A granola bar?

“Are you hungry, Cami?”

“No, not really.”

“Then why in the world would you sneak a granola bar into your bed?”

“I dunno,” she says sheepishly. “I guess I wanted to test myself.”

While I dialog with my daughter aloud, I’m conversing with God and myself internally.(Precursor to an eating disorder? She’s hiding food! God, give me the right words. Why would she hide food? She’s never done that before.) {Be anxious for nothing, Child of Mine, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, tell Me what you want. Tell Me, out loud, right now. Model for her your relationship with Me.}

I reach up to put my hand on Cami’s head, and I pray aloud. I ask the Holy Spirit to lead us into all truth, to help Cami understand her own motives, and to give me the wisdom I need to be the mommy Cami needs me to be. At first, Cami pulls away. I grab her hand. She squirms, but she holds my hand. With each prayer-word I say, she squirms less.

I say “Amen,” and Cami says, “I really don’t know why I did that, Mommy.” Her beautiful eyes are looking straight into mine.

“Maybe you wanted to see if I could guess what you had in your bed.”

Her tone and attitude totally change as she says with wonder, “How did you know?”

(Lord, help me speak truth in all gentleness here.) “Cami, I’ll tell you the truth. When God made me your mommy, He gave me a special set of super powers to help me be the exact mommy that you need.”

Puberty? No problem.

Struggling with friends? Piece of cake.

For if God is with me, then who can be against me?

He never sleeps. He never leaves. He sings over us. He delights in us. He gives us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Jesus.

He appointed and anointed me to be Cami’s mommy. I can do this.

Bring it on. I have the Mommy Power!

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