Saturday, January 1, 2011

Purposeful

A new year calls for new attempts at being on purpose...with my actions, my words, my time...

A new year calls for trying new technology. I'm posting this from my Incredible phone. Complete with auto text correction. This should be quite an adventure.

I've been thinking about my blog's title, and wondering if my posts meet the purpose "Excavations" declares. I'm realizing that in my inmost heart and mind, I am always excavating--everything--and sifting it for meaning.

It's extremely helpful when the Holy Spirit excavates, sifts, and sorts with me.

He has this habit of whispering in my soul when I least expect it.

The other morning, out of nowhere, I was thinking of an old boyfriend who, while I was seriously dating him and, of course, unbeknownst to me, was molesting little boys. He was found out, tried, and convicted when I'd been married ten years.

What made me think of all that the other morning, I don't know. When I connected that circumstance with the circumstances with my sister, I found meaning. You see, I have deep trust issues. And the other morning, the Holy Spirit whispered deep inside my soul:

I don't trust others--God, my husband, my friends--because I don't trust myself.

In some twisted way, I hold myself accountable for the big betrayals in my past. Like I should have seen it coming. Like my discernment let me down.

A new year calls for a new perspective. So here I go.



Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you will be sharing again. Mom and I really enjoy the thoughts and experiences you have. We love you very much.
POP