Monday, August 17, 2009

Grief Is Here

Grief has been hanging out at my house lately. My girl is finally getting to the deep part of last summer's losses. It's emotionally intense around here.

As if God has been preparing me to model for Cami these stages of grief, I've hit deep parts of hurts I didn't know I had. I'm mourning for babies that never made it to earth. I'm processing childhood traumas that I don't even remember. I'm reclaiming spaces in my heart and in my home.

All of this with Jesus' tender arms wrapped around my family. We're making tear soup, and the aroma is wafting all through our living spaces.

Mom, remember that guy who wrote on the computer that I should draw on the sidewalks?

You mean when Aunt Betsy's Josh commented on your art blog that someday he might see your drawings on the sidewalk in New York City?

Yeah. Well, I was thinking that I'll draw on all the sidewalks of our neighborhood so that maybe everyone will come enjoy it.

Our only neighborhood cat

Horses running in a meadow, a Native American scene,
and a dog that walks around our block every day

Then, she got down to it.

Four days later, the rain washed Cami's sidewalk art away. One of my neighbors told me everyone had been asking whose dog died. She told them it happened last summer.

Then three days ago:
Look what I made, Mom.
It's a tombstone for my baby sister in heaven.

I want us to go out back behind our fence and stand it in the dirt back there,so when we want to remember, we can go look at it.

Cami, if we put this outside, the weather will ruin it.

But Mom, I covered it in plastic. It'll be all right.

The top line shows Jessie and Cami (given name Campbell) holding hands.
The next line shows their favorite animals.
The top left corner holds silk flowers for Jessie.
Right in the center is, of course, the decease's engraved name.
On the next line, in red, are the two options for worship we have as humans:
(left) we shouldn't worship other gods (like the Egyptian god who is crossed out), but
(right) we should love and worship Jesus alone. He's the only One who died on the cross for our sins.
The faces at the bottom? A happy face with an arrow pointed towards Jesus' symbol, and a mad face with an arrow pointed at the false god's symbol.

All covered in plastic taped closed so it's weatherproof and ready to be displayed.

1 comment:

Jay Campbell said...

It's interesting that Cami's sister is named Jessie. That was their Grandmother's name. Maybe Mom is playing with her great grandchildren while she is waiting for the rest of us.