We had our Buddy Dog put down today. He was in full kidney failure and in misery, with no chance for recovery.
This is death number three in six weeks' time.
I've been asking hard questions this summer:
Why does God allow such misery and pain to continue?
How can anyone display God's glory when they're trapped in a broken body or a mind that doesn't work anymore?
Why is it not okay to euthanize humans, but when it's an animal, it's considered the "humane" thing to do?
I don't have answers. Just inklings of God's presence:
This morning, we were taking Buddy to the vet for continuing therapy. We still thought there was hope for at least a partial recovery for him. We were about 15 minutes later getting out the door than I had planned, but we were getting out the door.
I had Buddy in my arms, and Cami had my purse. When Cami opened the door, there, at eye level with me on the other side of the glass storm door, hovered a hummingbird. He just looked at us, then did a little whirly twirl and flew away.
"Oh! My!" I couldn't draw a breath. "Thank You, Jesus." (Really--I said that, as corny as it may sound.)
Cami said, "Wow! Mom! I think that was a hummingbird! That was just for you!"
I've held onto that moment as this day has unfolded. I'm glimpsing parts of the fractal as I cry my way through the mess.