Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Hark! Is That a Hoover I Hear?

It's the Christmas season, and I'm feeling the whoosh--the temptation to get "sucked in" to all the perceived expectations and the volatile emotions that this time of year brings into my life.

Perceived Expectation:
My house should be clean and tidy 24-7, even though I have a 7-year-old at home attached to my hip 24-7. (Constant company of a 7-year-old=toys, craft supplies, clothes, and other childlike accoutrement everywhere, most of the time.)

Volatile Emotion:
Chaos! My life is out of control! I should clean all this up and put it where it goes. But where does it go? We have so much stuff! Why should I pick up their stuff? Isn't that enabling their messiness? They're only messy because I let it stay messy. I'm messy! Aaauuuggghhh! I'm tired of stepping on toys and power cords!

We are having our annual "Happy Birthday, Jesus!" party this Saturday, so I want my home to be welcoming and inviting. (That does NOT equal said list of 7-year-old elements above.) I, however, am just one person, with only two hands, two feet, one homeschooled child, and one very fuzzy brain. (Thank you, post-surgery hormones.)

Plan of action:
Clear the clutter by stuffing it in the laundry room (where we have totes full of cleared clutter from last year's party--LOL!), clean the toilets, light some candles, and enjoy the party. It's all about Jesus, right?

Perceived Expectation:
I need to lead worship well at my church this coming Sunday by being emotionally and spiritually self-controlled and put together, completely knowledgeable musically and spiritually, and dressed festively but not outrageously--feminine, but perceived worthy enough to command the respect of the male leaders in our congregation WITHOUT offending anyone's sensibilities, whatever those may be.

Volatile Emotion:
I don't want to mess this up. What if I sound bad? What if the congregation doesn't sing? Oh, Lord, PLEASE don't let me disappoint You! Please show up and change our hearts. (Oh, wait--You're already here. . .) What if I forget the musical arrangements? What if the power goes out? What if someone gets sick and doesn't show up? (Look at all those "what ifs"!) Lord, please don't let people walk out the same way they walked in. Bring us alive. Bring us alive!

I lead worship just like I parent: by example. Whatever I model will be reflected back to me. If I clap, most people in the congregation start clapping. If I sing wrong words, the congregation doesn't follow the displayed slides; they wait for me to find my place and start singing again. SO---what do I want to model? A hollow presentation of perceived perfection, or honest open authentic communication with Jesus? My husband said it best:

Worship Leader Job Description

Worship wholly
Worship humbly
Worship without reservation
Worship only for His sake
Worship only for His glory
Make God smile

Duties do not include:
Playing, singing, or performing perfectly
Being a perfect mom
Having it all together

Undress your soul before God.
He’ll take care of the rest.

Plan of Action:
Invite my church family to enter God's Throne Room with me and worship Jesus our King. Ask ourselves--our actual selves, not the ones we think we should be--to show up and bow down at His feet. Worship Him--wholly, authentically, unabashedly.

And unplug the Hoover!


Anonymous said...

When your Mom and I let you go to sleep between the speakers of our 'hi-fi record player', we had no idea how much music God would instill in your heart. We are proud of you. May you always praise Him with your music.
We love you,

Brittany A said...

oh I love you!
thanks for encouraging me to seek the Lord.